We recently reported on the death of a very famous bird…Alex the African Grey. This story still saddens me, as I have been following the progress of the research of Dr. Pepperberg and her staff, and new of the death sort of hit me.
This got me thinking about all the birds I have lost in the past, and in some cases how devastated I became. And now I think about how the loss of the few pet birds I have will effect me…..
How do you deal with the loss of a pet? Can you deal with the depression? Can you function enough to think things out and not be totally devastated by the loss? It’s not possible to answer this. But maybe you will find yourself in a position to help counsel someone who is going through this.
Over the years we have been in this position. Pet owners have called me, inquiring on buying a replacement bird, and they end up talking to me for hours about their pet and how much they miss them. I would take the time to listen, give some gentle advice, and try to help them through this period of grief.
YOUR PET HAS DIED. WHAT DO YOU DO NOW?
It may not seem obvious, but if you have more then one bird in your home you need to investigate the cause of the birds death. Failure to immediately identify the cause of death could end up costing you even more birds.
The only good way to find the cause of death is to take your bird to a qualified avian vet and have an avian necropsy (autopsy) done. This will help to identify any disease that may be transmitted to the rest of your birds, poor diet, or other health issues.
If the bird died as the result of an accident, be sure that the problem is corrected so it won’t happen to other birds.
DEALING WITH GRIEF
I am sometimes amazed at the attitude of people. They do not seem to understand how attached people become to their pets. After spending their day with them, caring for them and playing with them, a huge bond develops. The loss of that pet is devastating!
The entire grieving process is no different then losing your parents, children, or best friend. First, there is the shock of their death. Time freezes, nothing is important any more. They become bewildered and depressed.
Then anger sets in. How did this happen? Who do I blame? Was this the cause of something I did (or didn’t) do? Guilt and fear take over your life.
Depression sets in. They feel saddened by the loss, drained of energy and overwhelmed with emotion.
After some time passes, acceptance takes over. They realize that their life will never be the same, but they must move on. But they will certainly never forget. And with the help of friends, they will eventually recover from their loss.
HONOR YOUR PET
A pet owner will never forget their loved one. And there are a number of ways to continue to honor them.
Make a donation to local agencies that help pets. The Humane Society, a rescue agency, or even for research. There are several organizations that do research into various bird diseases that can always use the support.
There are several websites that have set up memorial sites for your pet. At http://www.rainbowbridge.com has a virtual pet cemetery where you can post pictures and other information about your pet. They also have a grief support center if you just want to talk.
Plant a tree, shrub or flowers to honor your pet. Keep pictures of your pet around your home.
But never, ever forget your pet.
SHOULD YOU GET ANOTHER PET?
That has to be done when you area ready. Don’t rush out and get one the day the pet dies. You must first honor your deceased pet before moving on. You will know when you are ready.
Understand that when you get your new pet, it will not be the same bird you had. The personalities will be different, and you will have to go through a new learning phase. Be patient, things will work out.
DOES THE BIRD’S MATE SEEM DEPRESSED?
Some birds won’t handle the death of a cage mate. Other birds will get along fine. There are many tales about birds mating for life, such as the Lovebird or Doves. This is not the case. They will take on new mates. But they are also capable of feeling the loss. This is also true if they lose their owner. We have taken in a number of rescue cases where the owner died and nobody wanted the bird. The bird was in obvious depression and showing signs of health problems. After a few weeks of giving the bird love and attention, they have fully recovered. They were later sent to a new home.
So keep in mind that the pets may need some grief counseling just as much as the owners.
[tags]pet bird death, parrot death, bird death[/tags]
Related posts:
I am very sad that my pet bird is dead .
The bird is very cute .
http://scholar.myweb.hinet.net/bird.htm
My wife and I just lost our lovebird of ten years. It is incredible how much hurt occurs over the death of a little ball of feathers weighing in at about an ounce and a half.
Our other parrot, a Jenday, and the best of friends with the lovebird looked lost. She moved on to bond with us more closely than ever. We are glad she did not go into a depression and start feather picking.
I thought it would help to write this with the other feathered on my shoulder but it hasn’t. Only time will heal me and my wife.
I just lost my lorikeet of 15 years. I cannot believe the sadness that me and my husband feel. It feels like we have lost our best friend. We will miss his goodnight kisses and having him around when we are alone. He was loved and cared for so much. No one can understand how attached a person can get to a little tiny bird but you do. God bless you always RedBird.
My daughter and I just lost our pet conure, Sweetheart, last night. The last thing I did was shoo her off my shoulder (we never clipped her wings, so she was constantly on one shoulder or another)… and then a few minutes later my daughter comes to me saying that our dog was playing with Sweetheart in the bathroom and hit her – that she was just lying on the floor and wouldn’t get up.
I thought she might have been in shock – her eyes were open half way, I thought she might have still been alive, so I tried to give her CPR but then I felt the emptiness between her head and her little body and realized that her necked had snapped.
My daughter and I have been crying since. It all happened so sudden and so unexpectedly, I’m still in shock. Our dog, Anya, loved that little bird – they were such good buddies, I know she wouldn’t have hurt her on purpose.
I held her close until I felt her little body start to cool and stiffen, then I found a nice box and I laid her in it, then taped it up and laid her to rest in our backyard. It’s so hard to believe that she’s gone.
I am truly sorry for everyone”s loss…this is a pain, I know too well.
I lost my best friend, Corkey on January 30, 2009. He was a Quaker Parrot that has filled my life with joy and unconditional love for 16 years.
I drove home from work tonight, crying my eyes out and am still crying now, from the pain and emptiness that fills me.
I have never felt such sadness and emptiness in my life…they say time eases the pain, but, I still cry daily and my life feels so empty without him..and most days, I wonder how I can even go on, without him in my life.
I will always love you, my little Corkey Porkey.
http://www.geocities.com/angatplay/
I made a memorial web site for my baby, and thought I would share it here too.
Just lost my pet bird. I’d had him for a little over a year. I remember when I bought him he was small, he was afraid. The week before he died, we took him to the country, and I knew he was happy.I’m glad his final days were good days, I will always remember him.
My conure, Pete, has not died yet – but his time is near. I have already started the grieving process as he has been sick with cancer for a very long time. I took him to the vet yesterday and the Doctor said Petey will probably live only another week, if that. I have had my bird for 14 years – half of my life (i’m 23). My family found him outside (he got loose from someone else). No one claimed him so I got a new pet bird – my first pet. I have loved and cared for him so much for 14 years. We share so many emotions together; he was there for me when my dad died and my life spun out of control and now I am here for him in his time of need. My heart truely goes out to anyone experiencing (or about to experience) the death of any pet – especially our beloved feathered friends.
I just lost my 15-year old red-bellied parrot, Lambchop, yesterday. When my husband and I came home from an overnight trip we found him dead on the bottom of his cage. The pet sitter said he was fine when she fed him earlier in the day!! I’m heartbroken!!! Lambchop has been my little buddy for so long. He was even part of my wedding 11 years ago! Every day that I worked out on my rowing machine this summer Lambchop was my little “trainer”. He’d sit on a perch and watch me and I’d just keep my eye on him when I got tired and out of breath. Even though Lambie didn’t talk much, he called me “Woobie” and he always kissed me when I said “Kiss kiss mama”. The funniest thing about Lambchop was his laugh! He’d laugh when the dog got disciplined – as if on cue! It was hilarious! I am going to miss my little Lambchop so much. I never had any idea how much personality a little bird could have and how close a person can get to a bird. Enjoy every day with your pets and your people because you never know if it’s going to be your last day with them.
Appreciate the knowledgeable post! It definitely helped me in understanding this complicated issue better.
I recently lost my budgie, Willow, I had only had him/her for 6 days, but was already in love.
When I first started thinking about getting a budgie, my main reason NOT to was because of death. I had had so many other pets die, a dog of 7 years, a cat of 16, a hamster of 2, that I just didn’t think I could handle another death. Finally I decided that the pros outweighed the cons, and I went to a bird store and picked out my 3 month old Willow. 2 weeks later I got to go and pick him/her up.
Then, on December 16th, 2011, I woke up, uncovered the cage like was my habit, and saw Willow dead on the bottom of the cage. I was devastated––still am, for that matter.
I had a funeral, made a gravestone, wrote poems, cried a lot, and had the feeling that most people thought I was going overboard, since Willow was “Just a bird”.
It’ll be a month in 12 more days, and I haven’t yet decided when I’ll get a new bird, I know I want one eventually, but I’m just not ready for it yet.
Both the vet and the pet store agreed that my budgie (being 3 months old) just choked on a seed in the middle of the night.
I will never forgot Willow, or stop loving her.